Interacting with society is like going to a masquerade ball, where everybody wears masques and performs a weird social dance.
Each society has its own rules, laws... but there are some wicked social conduct codes that nobody talks about, but "everybody" knows and follows.
Each society has its own rules, laws... but there are some wicked social conduct codes that nobody talks about, but "everybody" knows and follows.
Everybody is invited!
I deciphered some:
1- "Politeness".
Here, politeness is, many times, secretly synonym of hypocrisy. In another words, pretending to like somebody and being nice just to keep a superficial relationship based in interests.
Many times, both parts are doing the same. The famous dear "frenemies".
Here, politeness is, many times, secretly synonym of hypocrisy. In another words, pretending to like somebody and being nice just to keep a superficial relationship based in interests.
Many times, both parts are doing the same. The famous dear "frenemies".
2 - Criticising and making offensive things intentionally, but pretending that it was a misunderstanding.
The secret reason behind this, are mind games to measure strengths and test limits, boundaries. To determine who is the dominator and the follower.
Lots of sneaky people love to play this game.
The secret reason behind this, are mind games to measure strengths and test limits, boundaries. To determine who is the dominator and the follower.
Lots of sneaky people love to play this game.
3 - Always bragging about their achievements and how good they are.
It's usually synonymous of lies and insecurity.
They need to prove themselves better than you by stepping in your self-esteem. They will never have nothing nice to say about you.
Often, when two people are doing the same, both are "friendly" competing with each other.
It's usually synonymous of lies and insecurity.
They need to prove themselves better than you by stepping in your self-esteem. They will never have nothing nice to say about you.
Often, when two people are doing the same, both are "friendly" competing with each other.
4 - Talking behind others back.
The obvious purpose is the manipulation of others opinion to spread rumours and damage someone's reputation.
This gossip can, also, be an indirect way to get a confidence from you, about certain person, with some malicious motive.
Very likely, this person is also talking about you, in your back.
5 - Asking indirect weird questions.
The secret intention is wanting to know something about your life or others, without you noticing.
Attentive people will get it.
6 - Receiving flattery and praises from someone not close, that you don't know well.
It can be someone looking for approval or a parasite looking for a host to take advantage of something you have and they want. This flatter has a hidden interest, wants to win your trust, needs some favour from. And is massaging your ego to get it.
7 - The victims that constantly are getting their feelings hurt and being offended.
The secret goal is using emotional blackmail, to make you feel guilty and force you to go their way, to impose something, to influence you do to something they want. Or just to make you look bad (the villain) in front of others.
Who is used to play main roles in similar dramatic films, will just ignore the blackmail.
8 - People with short memory that when caught in a lie and confronted, never remember nothing and deny it.
Well, there's not much secret here. They are lying and don't want to admit it. These people never take responsibility.
They will put their best "surprised face" and if there's more people involved, they will turn them against you. So, you will be the liar that is unfairly accusing them.
But, there's people that also knows very good all the dance steps for the "I am so innocent" music. So they'll "kindly" dance together.
9 - People that insult you with a smile and criticises you with humour, normally in front of others.
This person is clearly making fun of you and disrespecting you, but pretending that is just joking.
If you don't laugh too and just-for-kidding give it back, you will receive more of this "funny" jokes.
If you react badly, everybody will say that you have no sense of humour. After all, that person was just kidding!!!...
You will be, also, showing a "weakness" that will be used to annoy you more times, by the "funny guy"!
10 - People that are always right and you are playing the victim.
When you directly confront them with something mean they did to you, it's, always, going to be your fault, cause you are too dramatic, too sensitive and take everything too serious. You are always complaining.
There's no point of confronting these people directly. There's no point of keeping these people in your life, neither. But, if you have to, you must learn how to turn the table, like they do.
11 - People that indirectly will do everything to exclude you from the circle if you "steal" their spotlight.
Vain people that always need to be the centre of attention and to stand out, are, normally, insecure and jealous people that are craving attention as a form of social validation.
A member of the social ball will recognise the arrogant attention seeker and will ignore. There's nothing worst to them.
I will update, when I find out more of these perverse rituals.
It can take some time, cause everything is so dissimulated that is not easy to realise. It's like being in a play, where people are acting and you have no script.
Sometimes we don't realise quickly and keep tolerating, cause they are nice, but not nice...confusing, isn't?
Many people play these games and "sweetly" make their moves, pretending nothing is happening. They will always act indirectly and, of course, "not on purpose".
The obvious purpose is the manipulation of others opinion to spread rumours and damage someone's reputation.
This gossip can, also, be an indirect way to get a confidence from you, about certain person, with some malicious motive.
Very likely, this person is also talking about you, in your back.
5 - Asking indirect weird questions.
The secret intention is wanting to know something about your life or others, without you noticing.
Attentive people will get it.
6 - Receiving flattery and praises from someone not close, that you don't know well.
It can be someone looking for approval or a parasite looking for a host to take advantage of something you have and they want. This flatter has a hidden interest, wants to win your trust, needs some favour from. And is massaging your ego to get it.
7 - The victims that constantly are getting their feelings hurt and being offended.
The secret goal is using emotional blackmail, to make you feel guilty and force you to go their way, to impose something, to influence you do to something they want. Or just to make you look bad (the villain) in front of others.
Who is used to play main roles in similar dramatic films, will just ignore the blackmail.
8 - People with short memory that when caught in a lie and confronted, never remember nothing and deny it.
Well, there's not much secret here. They are lying and don't want to admit it. These people never take responsibility.
They will put their best "surprised face" and if there's more people involved, they will turn them against you. So, you will be the liar that is unfairly accusing them.
But, there's people that also knows very good all the dance steps for the "I am so innocent" music. So they'll "kindly" dance together.
9 - People that insult you with a smile and criticises you with humour, normally in front of others.
This person is clearly making fun of you and disrespecting you, but pretending that is just joking.
If you don't laugh too and just-for-kidding give it back, you will receive more of this "funny" jokes.
If you react badly, everybody will say that you have no sense of humour. After all, that person was just kidding!!!...
You will be, also, showing a "weakness" that will be used to annoy you more times, by the "funny guy"!
10 - People that are always right and you are playing the victim.
When you directly confront them with something mean they did to you, it's, always, going to be your fault, cause you are too dramatic, too sensitive and take everything too serious. You are always complaining.
There's no point of confronting these people directly. There's no point of keeping these people in your life, neither. But, if you have to, you must learn how to turn the table, like they do.
11 - People that indirectly will do everything to exclude you from the circle if you "steal" their spotlight.
Vain people that always need to be the centre of attention and to stand out, are, normally, insecure and jealous people that are craving attention as a form of social validation.
A member of the social ball will recognise the arrogant attention seeker and will ignore. There's nothing worst to them.
I will update, when I find out more of these perverse rituals.
It can take some time, cause everything is so dissimulated that is not easy to realise. It's like being in a play, where people are acting and you have no script.
Sometimes we don't realise quickly and keep tolerating, cause they are nice, but not nice...confusing, isn't?
Many people play these games and "sweetly" make their moves, pretending nothing is happening. They will always act indirectly and, of course, "not on purpose".
"Love" is in the air!! Hypocrisy is served!!
The easiest way to recognise these kind of people is by the way they make you feel:
- Uncomfortable,
- Guilty,
- Disrespected,
- Stressed,
- Not appreciated,
- Frustrated,
- Doubting yourself,
- Pessimist.
Why they do that?
Generally, people that does this kind of things are not happy or don't feel good in their own skin.
And because they are not happy, they don't want others to be. So they will try to bring you down...as deep as they are..
Many of them are just lies.. are fake. They need to create a personage, a character in order to love themselves and to enjoy to live their life.
They might envy and judge, even, the smile you have in your face..
Many of them are just lies.. are fake. They need to create a personage, a character in order to love themselves and to enjoy to live their life.
They might envy and judge, even, the smile you have in your face..
These people, normally, have little or no empathy and are not very emotional. It's all about them.
Can they change?
Hardly these people will change, cause they believe they never wrong and they want everyone else to change to follow them. So, don't waste your energies, trying to change them. It will be a very long and frustrating process. Just life can teach them.
Most likely, they are already trying to change you.
Can they change?
Hardly these people will change, cause they believe they never wrong and they want everyone else to change to follow them. So, don't waste your energies, trying to change them. It will be a very long and frustrating process. Just life can teach them.
Most likely, they are already trying to change you.
Even though truth is an important global value of every society, not many people seems to respect it.
Each person makes their own interpretation of truth. So, truth is relative. Is not the same for everybody. Therefore, and sadly cannot be trusted.
So, not everything you see and hear can be believed.
Unfortunately, not everybody that smiles to you, likes you. Normally the lips are smiling but not the eyes.
But, don't close your heart to everybody, just read the signs and hear your emotions ...
Being rational is not important in society. But reasonable.
... And be careful to not be a player yourself, another dancer.
<When we deal with "monsters" we can turn ourselves into "monsters" too.>
<When we deal with "monsters" we can turn ourselves into "monsters" too.>
Remember:
Be who you are but "don't do to others, what you wouldn't like others to do to you".